The 'Why' Matters: Intent Over Action

Are Actions the Full Story?

If a wife cooks for her husband every night, is that sexist – or just dinner? Some of you might say yes. Others might say no. But the world isn’t in black and white. 

Stereotypes dictate that the man is the breadwinner and goes out to work, and the woman is the homemaker. So in some cases, the wife cooking could be sexist. But what if she just wants to do something nice for her partner? Or gets home from work earlier? Or just likes cooking? 

Sexism isn’t always what someone does. In some cases, we need to ask ourselves –Why?

Reinforcing Stereotypes: The Double Standard

Let's flip the situation for a second. If a husband cooked for his wife every night, would that be sexist? I doubt anyone would say yes. Maybe he’s just doing something nice for her? So in some cases, why shouldn’t the same logic be applied if the roles were reversed? 

One major roadblock in gender equality is stereotyping. Of course, sexism exists. Some women are limited, judged, pressured and forced to take a certain role. Maybe by family, maybe by society. Maybe a woman cooks every night because it's “expected,” or she quits her job to take care of her children because it's “her duty.” These situations do exist, and we can easily recognize them as wrong.

But what about women who choose to do those things? Is that still sexist? Still a stereotype?

The issue starts with people who assume to break the stereotype, the action itself needs to be eradicated – but that isn’t true. Getting rid of the idea that women must be homemakers, isn’t the same as a woman choosing to be a housewife.

Choice, not Requirement

This is when choice matters. We are fighting for choice – for women to have the freedom to be homemakers or workers, to be businesswomen, or waitresses, or engineers. For gender equality, we don’t need to push every woman out of the kitchen and into the workplace - we just need to give them the freedom to choose, without guilt, without pressure. 

The important thing isn’t what role someone has, but why they have it. Is someone taking the role because of societal expectations or familial pressure? Or are they choosing it for their own reasons?

If a woman chooses to stay home with her kid after giving birth, it could be love, not expectations. Cooking could be a hobby, not a stereotype. In both cases, it shows that intent matters more than action.

Why "Why" Matters

In the end, gender equality doesn’t mean people do or do not do certain things, or behave a certain way. Gender equality means everyone has the freedom to choose to do what they want to do, because they want to do it - not because they should, or because it’s expected of them, but because it’s their choice. 

Because when people have the freedom to choose whatever path they want, without outside pressure or influence, that is when we will have true gender equality. That’s why the “why” matters - because equality doesn’t mean every woman in the workplace but everyone choosing the path they want to take.